Royal Baby Born Into Meghan Markle’s Scandalous Family Tree

Meghan Markle finally became a princess after marrying Prince Harry last May — but her scandalous life nearly had her tossed out of Buckingham Palace! Now that newly-minted Duchess of Sussex has given birth to a royal baby boy, it’s only a matter of time before there’s more royal commotion as her dysfunctional family is almost destined to humiliate the British royals. They have been embarrassing her since she started dating Harry, after all!

Now catch up with the cast of characters in this comprehensive guide to Harry and Meghan’s baby boys’ wacky extended family in the gallery above!

Royal Baby Born Into Meghan Markle’s Scandalous Family Tree

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Photo credit: Mega

Thomas Markle Sr.

Thomas Markle Sr. missed the royal wedding due to a “heart attack” after getting caught taking cash for posed paparazzi pictures. The former TV lighting director has since insisted on giving a series of wild interviews — saying he “refused to be silenced.” After decades in California, he had declared bankruptcy and moved into a run-down town in Mexico. Meghan's severed all contact with him even as Thomas reportedly looks to cash in on her name!

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Samantha Markle

Samantha Markle, Meghan’s disabled half- sister, changed her last name from Grant to promote her royal connection while being one of Meghan's earliest public rivals. Samantha's even claimed to have written a book titled The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister — and has cursed Meghan for cutting off contact with their dad, saying, “If our father dies, it’s on you, Meg!”

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Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Frederick Markle

Meghan’s uncle Frederick Markle is the reclusive self-proclaimed head of a Catholic church in rural Sanford, Florida., that has no parishioners. The Eastern Orthodox chapel is no longer officially listed, but he prefers to be known as Bishop Dismas F. Markle. He’s reportedly a “hermit” with a fondness for fast food.

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Photo credit: Mega

Tyler Dooley

Meghan's nephew Tyler Dooley runs a licensed cannabis farm in Oregon called Royally Grown and touts a new special strain of marijuana called Markle Sparkle. While in London for Meghan’s wedding, he got into trouble for carrying a knife and pepper spray into a nightclub. He plans to launch a reality show about his weed farm.

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Photo credit: Mega

Thomas Markle Jr.

Meghan’s half- brother Thomas Markle Jr. is a window fitter who has posed in a dress and was arrested for pointing a gun at his girlfriend’s head during a drunken spat. Thomas wrote an open letter urging Prince Harry to call off the wedding, calling Meghan a “jaded, shallow, conceited woman” and blasting the nuptials as a “fake fairytale wedding.”

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Darlene Blount

Thomas Markle Jr.’s fiancée, Darlene Blount, was busted on assault charges in July after she punched him in the face. Darlene had also been arrested in January after arguing with Thomas — but Thomas later claimed he’d beaten himself up during that incident. Darlene later said she’d seek counseling for alcohol abuse.

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Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Michael Markle

Now living in a Florida trailer park retirement village, Meghan’s uncle Michael Markle is a potential source for telling more scandalous stories — after being left deeply upset over being “snubbed” from the wedding guest list. He's often helped Meghan over the years, including organizing her internship at the U.S. Embassy in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

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Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Thomas Dooley

Meghan’s other nephew, Thomas Dooley (at left), runs a Domino’s Pizza franchise in rural California with his husband (also pictured). Thomas flew to London for Meghan's wedding, and was set to appear as a TV wedding pundit — but producers pulled the plug at the last minute. Young Meghan had babysat both Thomas and Tyler.

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Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Noel Rasmussen

And black sheep don't come much darker than Noel Rasmussen! The daughter of Meghan’s half-sister Samantha has written notes filled with swastikas and Nazi recruitment letters, signing her name as "Noel Hitler." According to sources, she had “Nazi memorabilia all over her room,” and has boasted about selling her soul to the devil!

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Thomas Markle Sr.

Thomas Markle Sr. missed the royal wedding due to a “heart attack” after getting caught taking cash for posed paparazzi pictures. The former TV lighting director has since insisted on giving a series of wild interviews — saying he “refused to be silenced.” After decades in California, he had declared bankruptcy and moved into a run-down town in Mexico. Meghan's severed all contact with him even as Thomas reportedly looks to cash in on her name!

Photo credit: Mega

Samantha Markle

Samantha Markle, Meghan’s disabled half- sister, changed her last name from Grant to promote her royal connection while being one of Meghan's earliest public rivals. Samantha's even claimed to have written a book titled The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister — and has cursed Meghan for cutting off contact with their dad, saying, “If our father dies, it’s on you, Meg!”

Frederick Markle

Meghan’s uncle Frederick Markle is the reclusive self-proclaimed head of a Catholic church in rural Sanford, Florida., that has no parishioners. The Eastern Orthodox chapel is no longer officially listed, but he prefers to be known as Bishop Dismas F. Markle. He’s reportedly a “hermit” with a fondness for fast food.

Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Tyler Dooley

Meghan's nephew Tyler Dooley runs a licensed cannabis farm in Oregon called Royally Grown and touts a new special strain of marijuana called Markle Sparkle. While in London for Meghan’s wedding, he got into trouble for carrying a knife and pepper spray into a nightclub. He plans to launch a reality show about his weed farm.

Photo credit: Mega

Thomas Markle Jr.

Meghan’s half- brother Thomas Markle Jr. is a window fitter who has posed in a dress and was arrested for pointing a gun at his girlfriend’s head during a drunken spat. Thomas wrote an open letter urging Prince Harry to call off the wedding, calling Meghan a “jaded, shallow, conceited woman” and blasting the nuptials as a “fake fairytale wedding.”

Photo credit: Mega

Darlene Blount

Thomas Markle Jr.’s fiancée, Darlene Blount, was busted on assault charges in July after she punched him in the face. Darlene had also been arrested in January after arguing with Thomas — but Thomas later claimed he’d beaten himself up during that incident. Darlene later said she’d seek counseling for alcohol abuse.

Photo credit: Mega

Michael Markle

Now living in a Florida trailer park retirement village, Meghan’s uncle Michael Markle is a potential source for telling more scandalous stories — after being left deeply upset over being “snubbed” from the wedding guest list. He's often helped Meghan over the years, including organizing her internship at the U.S. Embassy in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Thomas Dooley

Meghan’s other nephew, Thomas Dooley (at left), runs a Domino’s Pizza franchise in rural California with his husband (also pictured). Thomas flew to London for Meghan's wedding, and was set to appear as a TV wedding pundit — but producers pulled the plug at the last minute. Young Meghan had babysat both Thomas and Tyler.

Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner

Noel Rasmussen

And black sheep don't come much darker than Noel Rasmussen! The daughter of Meghan’s half-sister Samantha has written notes filled with swastikas and Nazi recruitment letters, signing her name as "Noel Hitler." According to sources, she had “Nazi memorabilia all over her room,” and has boasted about selling her soul to the devil!

Photo credit: Coleman-Rayner