I’m ALL man, folks — so I boo-hoo’d like a bitch over the shocker ending to this tail-waggin’ tale!
It began with a bang, so to speak, when Jake Gyllenhaal took a break from suckin’ sushi at LA’s swanky Japanese eatery Murakami, strolled to a single-occupancy restroom — but was suddenly blocked by a gorgeous 20-ish blonde wearing mighty-tighty jeans over a booty built to kill!
Snickered My Sushi Spy: “Cutie cornered Jake, snuggled up and whispered naughty no-no’s about joining him inside to … er, eliminate tensions! But Jake — in what’s gotta be a Hollywood stud-muffin first — just grinned, nodded no-no-NO, brushed past, entered the john solo…and LOCKED HER OUT! (Say waaaat?)
The gob-smacked gal, red-faced, made an uncomfortable walk of shame back to her party!”
When Jake returned to his table, bros chirped, “Dude, that was outrageous!”
Flashing a huge grin, Jake grunted: “Happens all the time!”