“TOUCHY” ROYAL SCOOP! Eyeballs rolling over explosive news that Prince William, Princess “Hubba Hubba” Kate AND Randy Prince Harry launched a multi-million$$$ charity to aid teenage mental health called “Heads Together,” that’s so notoriously HANDS-ON it’s actually promoting … (and please keep your hands where I can see ’em, folks!) … Great Britain’s new “National Masturbation Month” — which instantly got Royal Pain stepmum Camilla Parker Bowles’ granny panties in a bunch!
Said My Royal Spy, Lord Knows: “The new charity’s aimed at dispelling shame or guilt against solo activity that’s sooo taboo — AND embarrassing — for many youngsters. Camilla Gorilla not only crinkled her nose at the younger royals’ charity, she flat-out exploded, erupting at hubby Prince Charles: ‘Do you KNOW what they’re up to?’ But Chuck just couldn’t stop chuckling! He really had a laugh — and told Camilla: ‘Take a chill pill!’”
Hey, folks — remember Daddy Chuck’s heavy-breathing phoner to Camilla years back, telling her: “I want to be reincarnated as your tampon!?” (Brit teens may tweet to Royals: “Thanks … for guilt-free wanks!”) #HappyEndings