Mike Walker

Kate Middleton Furious Over Royal Panty Raid

Palace gripped by fears of boosted-bloomer auctions on eBay!

prince william kate middleton marriage
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Mike Walker Reports… Kate Middleton — a.k.a. England’s sex-alicious, soon-to-be Queen — totally got her knickers in a twist!

The Princess of Our Hearts flew into a royal rage after discovering that a prowling pervert had sneakily plundered her personals, snagging an armful of her bloomin’ bloomers!

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Snitched My Royal Spy, Lord Knows: “Kate was horrified to learn that her very, very private collection of frilly, intimate undies — all reserved for husband Prince William’s eyes only, of course — had vanished from her lingerie drawer without a trace!”

But after a bit of … er, sniffing around, Detective Kate uncovered the naked truth.

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“One of her personal maids had taken it upon herself to sneak off with her Mistress’ scanties to hand-wash them,” my spy report. “After spying a yucky bug crawling around in the royal drawers!

“Kate was not only grateful, but mighty relieved that her sexy stash won’t end up on eBay!” (Damn!)