NOTE TO JOHN MELLENCAMP: Hey, Cougar, My Spies whisper MEG RYAN’s head-over-heels over you, but she’s warned that your burning romance will go up in smoke if you don’t quit smoking PRONTO!
My peeps tell me you’ve already cut your tobacco intake considerably (good luck with that, I kicked 20 years ago!), but you might want to ask Meg this burning question: When you were married to DENNIS QUAID, you bullied him into quitting cold turkey, then went ahead and dumped him anyway for RUSSELL CROWE – so what are my guarantees if I kick butts? (Just askin’.) BTW, John…do you ever call her NutMeg?