‘KING JAMES VERSION’ ROCKS ROYALS: LOFTY LEBRON DECREES, NO SWEAT!

Hoops superstar LEBRON JAMES, reacting to the US-UK press furor after he broke so-called Royal “protocol” and touched DUCHESS KATE MIDDLETON – draping his “sweaty arm” around her shoulder when introduced to her and PRINCE WILLIAM at a Cleveland Cavaliers basketball game in Brooklyn. 

Raged LeBron in these exclusive remarks to a close pal: “The Prince and Kate asked to take a photo with me! Protocol? No one told me not to touch her. The prince and princess (sic) wanted a picture with me, so I put my arm around her. I try to be nice, that’s what I always do. If she’s offended by my sweat, she should have stayed the hell away! I play basketball – good ol’ American basketball – and it’s a fast and sweaty game! This is 2014, not 1814! She’s not QUEEN VICTORIA, and I’m no Joe Schmo – I’m King James!” 

RIGHT ON, YOUR MAJESTY!

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