Mike Walker Reports… If this don’t crinkle your nose, nothing will!
Scientology’s studly super-alien, Tom Cruise, suddenly claims that he’s acquired an extraordinary NEW superpower: the mind-blowing ability to fire up his honker and not only smell — but actually identify — odors wafting from literally MILES AWAY!
Revealed a Cruise business source: “Tom believes his senses have suddenly heightened to superhero levels since his recent ascension to an even higher Scientology level!
Why Katie Holmes Won’t Date Jamie Foxx In Public — Exposed!
“He maintains that he no longer catches colds himself or even becomes congested — but has now acquired the power to sniff anyone — even from great distances — and know exactly what they’ve been up to!
“The star recently scolded a staffer on his new ‘Jack Reacher’ movie for smelling like an ashtray, even though the dude hadn’t smoked for over a month!
“Tom even knows what you ate for breakfast, simply by taking a whiff! It’s astonishing!”