Whatever daddy wants... daddy gets - and after dissing daughter JESSICA SIMPSON's marriage to ex NICK LACHEY, Papa Svengali/manager JOE SIMPSON wants His Little Girl to deep-six her friendship with "Desperate Housewives" co-star EVA LONGORIA - because every time they're out in public, he claims, Eva hogs the limelight! Insiders say that Jessica tried to ignore her daddy's dictator routine, but he stepped up his anti-Eva offensive with behind-the-scenes sabotage when Jessica and her girlfriends - Eva included - set up a dinner to celebrate her birthday at a Gollywood eatery. Sneaky Joe had an assistant phone Eva and tell her Jessica had to cancel because she was ill. Then he arranged for a private plane to whisk Jess and galpals to Vegas, where they partied hearty at a post birthday bash... without Eva, who had "mysteriously" neglected to RSVP! When Eva realized she'd been duped, she was furious - and Jessica was left holding the bag and apologizing profusely for the snub... but Longoria's livid! Stay tuned.

• SCHIZO WORLD OF ROBIN WILLIAMS
• REAR_ENDED
• MEGAN & SHIA'S KOREA NIGHTMARE
• MICKEY NEEDS HIS MEDS -- NOW!
• BOBBY BROWN: BIG TIPPER
• MILEY STILL A "VIRGIN" FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME
• DAVE TPs CONAN
• DELETE AND RUN
• MILEY EYED BY HELICOPTER DAD

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