DIRTY DEPP: Why am I slob, Kemo Sabe?

DIRTY DEPP:  Why am I slob, Kemo Sabe?
Photography by: Getty Images Entertainment

 NEVER TRUST A GUY WHO WEARS A DAMN PIGEON ON HIS HEAD DEPT.:

Acting like disgusting slobs at a Hollywood Whole Foods Market, JOHNNY “Tonto” DEPP and fiancée AMBER HEARD got their germ-y hands slapped when the manager caught them grubbing in granola bins with bare paws – then stuffing samples down their blowholes!

YUCCKKK!

“Amber started it she couldn’t resist when she saw those bins crammed with one yummy granola after another,” said an eyewitness.

“She reached in, grabbed handfuls to taste, then started feeding Johnny – who began finger-dipping as well!”

Suddenly, the manager approached and snapped: “It’s highly unsanitary to touch food with your bare hands. That’s why we put scoopers in there!”

DUH!

Like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar, the red-faced pair apologized, filled plastic bags using the scoops, paid up – and split, pronto as Tonto, KEMO SABE!