The Amazing Race 4 winner and current Lance Bass beau Reichen Lehmkul has revealed that he was sexually assaulted during his time in the U.S. Air Force.

During a press tour to promote his new book, Here’s What We’ll Say: Growing Up, Coming Out, and the U.S. Air Force Academy, Lehmkuhl, 32, tells ABC News that he was forced to hide his homosexuality and abide by the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to keep his secret under wraps.

In the book, Lehmkuhl—who achieved the rank of captain—details the moment at which his private struggle became public, sharing with ABC News specifics of an incident that ultimately left him contemplating suicide. “A bag was put over my head,” he says. “I was stripped of my clothes. I was forced to do things sexually with two other male cadets.”

“That’s when you start having suicidal thoughts,” Lehmkuhl continues, “and that’s when you start saying, ‘Oh my God. I am so stuck in this situation. I can’t go to anyone.’”

Here’s What We’ll Say is the actor/model’s first book. Following his assault, Lehmkuhl finished out the remainder of his military service, which was completed five years ago.