Freed sex slave Jaycee Lee Dugard kept a secret diary hidden from her captors it was revealed in shocking court papers.

It was revealed that  Dugard kept a secret diary during the 18 years she was held captive in a backyard dungeon by Phillip and Nancy Garrido

Her own words illuminates the confusion and horror into her ordeal, revealing her confused and conflicted feelings towards her captors.

On July 16th 1993 Dugard wrote, "I got [a cat] for my birthday from Phil and Nancy. They did something for me that no one else would do for me, they paid 200 dollars just so I could have my own kitten."

On July 5th 2004 Dugard wrote, "It feels like I’m sinking. I’m afraid I want control of my life…this is supposed to be my life to do with what I like…but once again he has taken it away.

"How many times is he allowed to take it away from me? I’m afraid that he doesn’t see how the things he says makes me a prisoner…why don’t I have control of my life! I feel I can’t even be sure my thoughts are my own…"

Phillip Garrido and his wife Nancy face a total of 29 charges including kidnapping, rape and false imprisonment. 

Dugard bore the convicted sex felon two children and she and her daughters are trying to adjust to a life free of their backyard captivity of fear and unendurable pain.