LAUGHTRACK, BY JAMES HARRIS

Published on: September 16, 2004

A Bobby Brown reality show would be just too real.

Bobby Brown is in talks with Bravo, the network that brought us "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," about trying to get his reality show on the air. All Bravo is asking is that Whitney Houston be in the show and they want to call it, "Black Eye from the High Guy."

More "Lighter Side of Hollywood"

  • Did you see the way June Pointer beat up her boyfriend? He was beaten so badly, you'd think he was Naomi Campbell's maid. His eyes were bloody, his nose was bloody, he looked so torn apart, that even Roy's tiger was impressed.

  • Rapper Ja Rule is facing assault charges in Canada. Of course, with the exchange rate, that's really just a parking violation. Ja Rule is very irresponsible! He was caught a few months ago for driving without a license and for marijuana possession and he got in trouble for trashing a woman's house, and perhaps most irresponsibly, he still hasn't pimped his ride.
  • Bea Arthur really scared airport security when she set off a metal detector. They weren't scared she might be a terrorist. They were scared they might have to strip search her.
  • An ENQUIRER poll shows that most readers think Whoopi Goldberg is a traitor. In fact, because people found her political tirade X-rated and offensive, she's been booked for this year's Super Bowl halftime show.
  • Jessica Simpson opened this year's Latin Grammy Awards Show. Knowing Jessica, she probably planned to honor the show by performing her song in Latin.
  • Kelsey Grammer and his wife just had a baby boy! Like their last child, he was delivered by a surrogate mother. Now they will hire surrogate parents and return for his college graduation. Actually, this pregnancy was hard for them. They had a real scare in the first trimester when they almost lost the baby . . . well, I mean, the surrogate's phone number.
  • Benjamin Bratt recently said he didn't regret his decision to dump Julia Roberts. Actually, the only person who regrets that decision is Julia's husband. Well, you've seen how crazy she's been acting since she got pregnant. She's become more unsteady than Billy Joel's steering wheel.
  • Burger King came very close to using Paris Hilton in its new ad campaign. But in the end they realized it was silly to market their food only to guys who sit at their computers naked. Actually, I bet the real reason Burger King decided not to use Paris was they didn't want anything in their commercials looking cheaper than the meat.

    James Harris is a comedy writer and stand-up comic whose talents have been showcased on Showtime, VH-1 and HBO. He performs regularly at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles.