CHARLIE SHEEN DEAD, YET STRANGELY ALIVE

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Reportedly, CHARLIE SHEEN is dead.

Well, his “Three and a Half Men” character — by driving off a cliff.

The NY Daily News reported that not only is Sheen in reality not returning to the hit show but neither is his character.

Unless he’s a ghost.

Sheen's Charlie Harper will allegedly drive off a cliff and “die”in the upcoming season of the CBS sitcom.

This leads to Ashton Kutcher's new character buying Charlie's home, which he has shared with his brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and his son (Angus T. Jones) for the past eight seasons.

Meanwhile, RadarOnline.com reports the real Sheen is close to inking a deal with Lionsgate to do a new cabler – with a lot more raunch.