Mindy McCready described her desperate struggles with addiction and how she slept her way to the top in a “deathbed diary” she kept before committing suicide in 2013 and The National ENQUIRER has obtained the heartrending diary and her text-filled cellphone! Catch up on more Mindy McCready news here….
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Photo credit: Getty Images/Files/Darryl Wrobel
Mindy McCready described her desperate
struggles with addiction and how she slept her way to the top in a “deathbed diary” she kept before committing suicide in 2013 and, in a blockbuster exclusive,
The National ENQUIRER has obtained the heartrending diary and her text-filled cellphone!
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Photo credit: Getty Images
Mindy, who sold 2 million copies of her 1996 debut, “Ten Thousand Angels,” reveals in heartrending detail how her once-promising career imploded as she spiraled downward in a nightmare of substance abuse and mental health issues.
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Photo credit: Files
“You don’t understand how sick I am. I’m shaking, sweating, fever, vomiting, severe diarrhea, my muscles are seizing!” she texted a pal while in the midst of withdrawal. In another text, the singer flirted with her doctor in a blatant bid for pills.
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Photo credit: Files
“Hey, my favorite doctor,” she gushed. “I hope your Valentine’s Day was wonderful! Thank you for being there once again.” She also hit up friends for meds: “My insurance kicks in Monday, so I’ll give yu [sic] my covered script. I also got a new Adderall coming Monday!”
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Photo credit: Files
In her journal, Mindy tried to make sense of her private hell. “My fame came from my success as a country music singer,” wrote Mindy, shown here in a mugshot taken after a 2007 arrest. “My infamy came from outside my career: bar brawls, secret affairs, domestic violence, drug charges, jail time, rehab stays and suicide attempts.
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Photo credit: Files
“I had lots of encouragement from
everyone but my mom," she wrote. "Whether she was trying to keep my expectations down so I didn’t get my heart broken when I was unable to make it in such a difficult business, trying to beat me down a little bit more, or really didn’t think I was very talented I’ll never know.
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Photo credit: Files
“I’ll never forget her comment to me after one recital where I sang my heart out and was especially excited to show my mom what I could do," she wrote. "Everyone gave me a pat on the back but when I finally got to my mom she said, ‘you’re good Mindy but you’ll never be great.’”
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Photo credit: Files
In another candid entry, Mindy recalled romancing a Nashville producer to build her career. “Sweet David Malloy,” she wrote. “Poor guy never saw me coming. When I moved to the Music City at 18, I knew I needed to succeed and how to do so quickly.
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Photo credit: Files
“David was a 42-year-old producer with the ability to make an unknown newcomer a star in a matter of months," she wrote. “To say that I knowingly used him or never cared about him would be untrue … Unfortunately, he was a sweet and sensitive man, which later translated to weak. The details are tragic and nothing that I am proud of.”
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Photo credit: Files
By 2009, Mindy had checked herself into “
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” alongside
Mackenzie Phillips (left) hoped to make a comeback. “There’s no doubt that I’m down and out right now … I haven’t had a hit in almost a decade,” she wrote in her journal. “I’ve been beaten, sued, robbed, arrested, jailed and evicted! But I’m still here.
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Photo credit: Files
“With a handful of people that I know and trust, a revived determination and both middle fingers up in the air, I’m ready," wrote the singer, whose legacy includes a 2010 sex tape "Baseball Mistress." "I’ve been here before. I’m a fighter. I’m down and I’ll never be out.”
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Photo credit: Darryl Wrobel
Mindy McCready described her desperate
struggles with addiction and how she slept her way to the top in a “deathbed diary” she kept before committing suicide in 2013 and, in a blockbuster exclusive,
The National ENQUIRER has obtained the heartrending diary and her text-filled cellphone!
Photo credit: Getty Images/Files/Darryl Wrobel
Mindy, who sold 2 million copies of her 1996 debut, “Ten Thousand Angels,” reveals in heartrending detail how her once-promising career imploded as she spiraled downward in a nightmare of substance abuse and mental health issues.
Photo credit: Getty Images
“You don’t understand how sick I am. I’m shaking, sweating, fever, vomiting, severe diarrhea, my muscles are seizing!” she texted a pal while in the midst of withdrawal. In another text, the singer flirted with her doctor in a blatant bid for pills.
“Hey, my favorite doctor,” she gushed. “I hope your Valentine’s Day was wonderful! Thank you for being there once again.” She also hit up friends for meds: “My insurance kicks in Monday, so I’ll give yu [sic] my covered script. I also got a new Adderall coming Monday!”
In her journal, Mindy tried to make sense of her private hell. “My fame came from my success as a country music singer,” wrote Mindy, shown here in a mugshot taken after a 2007 arrest. “My infamy came from outside my career: bar brawls, secret affairs, domestic violence, drug charges, jail time, rehab stays and suicide attempts.
“I had lots of encouragement from
everyone but my mom," she wrote. "Whether she was trying to keep my expectations down so I didn’t get my heart broken when I was unable to make it in such a difficult business, trying to beat me down a little bit more, or really didn’t think I was very talented I’ll never know.
“I’ll never forget her comment to me after one recital where I sang my heart out and was especially excited to show my mom what I could do," she wrote. "Everyone gave me a pat on the back but when I finally got to my mom she said, ‘you’re good Mindy but you’ll never be great.’”
In another candid entry, Mindy recalled romancing a Nashville producer to build her career. “Sweet David Malloy,” she wrote. “Poor guy never saw me coming. When I moved to the Music City at 18, I knew I needed to succeed and how to do so quickly.
“David was a 42-year-old producer with the ability to make an unknown newcomer a star in a matter of months," she wrote. “To say that I knowingly used him or never cared about him would be untrue … Unfortunately, he was a sweet and sensitive man, which later translated to weak. The details are tragic and nothing that I am proud of.”
By 2009, Mindy had checked herself into “
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” alongside
Mackenzie Phillips (left) hoped to make a comeback. “There’s no doubt that I’m down and out right now … I haven’t had a hit in almost a decade,” she wrote in her journal. “I’ve been beaten, sued, robbed, arrested, jailed and evicted! But I’m still here.
“With a handful of people that I know and trust, a revived determination and both middle fingers up in the air, I’m ready," wrote the singer, whose legacy includes a 2010 sex tape "Baseball Mistress." "I’ve been here before. I’m a fighter. I’m down and I’ll never be out.”
Photo credit: Darryl Wrobel