New Book Explores How Words Shape Children’s Mental And Emotional Development

A new book from educator and author Lily Howard Scott, MSEd, explores how the language used by adults and caregivers influences childrens emotional development, resilience, and self-perception.

“The Words That Shape Us” (Scholastic) is aimed at parents, teachers, and caregivers, and it unpacks the science behind words ability to shape young minds at a neurological level and offers practical strategies to foster confidence, creativity, and emotional well-being.

Howard Scott, a “third-grade teacher at heart,” said during a recent interview on NBC News that “the way grownups talk to kids is the way kids talk to themselves.”

The longtime elementary school teacher and professional development leader believes intentional language can transform how children experience success, failure, and personal growth. Through research-backed insights and simple, adaptable phrases, she illustrates how everyday conversations can replace shame with self-compassion, ease anxieties, and encourage children to develop healthier thought patterns.

The book offers practical language shifts caregivers can use to reframe mistakes and encourage curiosity.

“What a brilliant mistake! What learning can you find in it?” This language encourages children to view mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than sources of embarrassment.

“Hello, feeling visitor!” Inspired by Rumis poem “The Guesthouse,” this phrase helps children recognize emotions as temporary, rather than defining.

“What can your wisest self say back to other thoughts and feelings in your head?” This question reinforces the concept of internal agency, teaching kids they can choose which emotions to engage with.

“Lets think ishfully as we jump into this challenge.” This phrase introduces the idea of ishfulness — an approach that values creativity and effort over perfection.

“Turn on your birder mindset. What will you notice?” This question encourages curiosity and attention to small, joyful details in daily experiences.

Howard Scotts expertise in social-emotional learning (SEL) has made her a sought-after speaker at national education conferences, including CASELs SEL Exchange and the National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) Annual Convention. Her work has been published in Edutopia and The Washington Post, and she teaches at Bank Street College of Education in New York City.

Endorsed by leading educators such as Georgia Heard, Ralph Fletcher, and Matt Glover, “The Words That Shape Us” is a must-read for anyone seeking to uplift children through the power of language.