Do NOT Beam Me Up, SCOTTY! 


“Star Trek” commander PATRICK STEWART – dining at a swanky WeHo eatery with pals – was shocked to observe a spaced-out couple in a booth across from him suddenly fire up their afterburners and invade each other’s private spaces in a naughty/nasty make-out session that gradually got the whole joint gawking. Said an insider: “Patrick was having a pleasant meal when the woman in the booth across from his literally began straddling her date. Mouths were hanging open – and not over the food – as the super-heated pair put on a display that was practically X-rated, hungrily clutching and smooching, and then … it turned into a hot lap dance! Quipped one of Patrick’s pals: ‘I’ll have what they’re having!’” Oddly, no customers actually complained (hey, it’s Gollywood, folks!), but a manager finally approached Patrick and apologized, offering to move him to another booth. Capt. Jean-Luc Picard declined, chortling: “DO NOT make it so! Best show I’ve seen in years!”…