No surprise that El Floppo – aka NEIL “Tighty-Whities” PATRICK HARRIS – will NOT be hosting our next Oscars, but here’s my stunning scoop on who WILL …
IF he accepts the solid-gold secret offer just made by The Academy Board of Governors: TOM HANKS!
Reveals My Oscar Spy, Wynn DeGold: “Panicked by this year’s grim, low-rated Academy Awards debacle, the board immediately compiled a secret host wish-list – then very quickly made their star pick: Tom! The two-time Best Actor Oscar winner’s a seasoned pro at throwing punchlines – but what really catapulted him to the top of the list was his widely-hailed TV appearance on JAMES CORDEN’s new ‘Late Late Show,’ when he brilliantly ad-libbed scenes from nearly every movie he’s made in SIX minutes!”
Let us pray, Oscar fans!
