Oscar winner JACK NICHOLSON was about to tee off on an LA golf course with pal DANNY DEVITO when a woman suddenly charged up and told him she was horrified to read that he’s suffering from memory loss – and might quit acting.

“I’m a huge fan and I beg you never to retire,” she said, then started babbling about a memory-challenged actor friend who uses a teleprompter – or an earpiece to hear dialogue whispered in his ear.

Throwing up a hand to silence her yammering, Jack declaimed: “Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell. I took thee for thy better. Take thy fortune. Thou find’st to be too busy is some danger…” and kept on reciting from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” for nearly two minutes as DeVito doubled over in helpless laughter.

Then 76-year-old Jack stopped and told the woman: “It seems, Madame, that my memory serves me just fine.” And with that, he tee’d off and headed down the fairway! 

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