SPOILER ALERT! Attention, dessert-lovers…be on the lookout for diet-krazed kutie KIM KARDASHIAN, known to authorities as a serial sweets sabotager.

At Soho House on Sunset with her posse, including sis KOURTNEY, mom KRIS, stepdaddy BRUCE JENNER and family groupie RYAN SEACREST, Kim komitted the kalorie-killing krime that’s made her notorious: ordering an expensive, zillion-calorie dessert – succulent pastry covered in whipped cream and strawberries – the depraved, drooling sweets-opath took just one sinful bite…then ruined the treat for herself and everyone, rendering it inedible by soaking it with champagne!

Said my source, an undercover Federal Food Enforcement agent: “Kim’s well known for her weird habit of ruining desserts to stop herself from eating them, but we can’t nail her under the Dessert-Waster laws because she’s smart enough to always take just ONE bite.”

(NOTE: Don’t bother looking up the FFE, people – it’s so secret it’s unlisted!)