Goop scoop! My Secret Skinny For Gwynnie!

What GWYNETH PALTROW don’t know about JENNIFER LAWRENCE won’t hurt her … until NOW!

Grrrl, it’s time I revealed that your sexed-up soon-to-be-ex, Coldplay stud CHRIS MARTIN, says he’ll stop smothering sexy JLaw with kisses – just long enough to warble a hot new release, titled: “Marry Me QUICK, Baby!!” 

Said a close friend: “Chris now says he’ll pop the question to Jennifer the minute his divorce from Gwyneth’s done! Once legally uncoupled, he’ll propose – and JLaw’s so madly in love she’ll definitely say YES! Chris says his only worry is how to break the news to Gwyneth.”

HEY – CHILL, Coldplay bro’! Mikey just did it FOR YOU!