Furious over headlines screaming she’s rail-thin/anorexic — with scary photos to match — Angelina Jolie’s fresh-brewed a steamy new real-life scenario that’ll (1) beef up her hubba-hubba curves; (2) get Brad Pitt panting encore; and (3) rebirth both as world-class stars in a big-screen blockbuster starring her as Egyptian sex goddess Cleopatra/Liz Taylor lusting after randy Roman Mark Antony/Richard Burton — aka Brad, who’s totally on board!
Reported a Jolie insider: “Angie relates strongly to the stormy Taylor/Burton romance … those legendary stars fought like cats and dogs, as do she and Brad! And their lust for each other burst off the screen, just as it does when she and Brad duet in flicks like ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith.’ So Angie’s gonna step into Liz’s shoes as the new Cleopatra! She knows she’s gotta pack on pounds and recapture her curves, but will absolutely do whatever it takes … knowing this might be her last big role, and believing that playing these legendary lovers will reinvigorate her and Brad’s real-life romance!”
Shockingly Skeletal Angelina Jolie Wraps Herself In Shroud
NOTE: Studio’s gone NUTS, writing script NOW! Stay tuned.