Exclusive interview! The night LINDSAY LOHAN was nearly shot! SANDRA BULLOCK’s wild hotel romp with STALLONE! Attacked by JACKO chimp Bubbles and MORE! All in confessions of a celebrity bodyguard!

Sexy stars having secret rendez­vous…protecting stars from violent drug dealers…getting attacked by temperamental celebrity pets.  Bodyguard to the stars LEE WEAVER has experienced it all!

 “Hollywood is the craziest town on earth, and it’s got the crazi­est people in it,” Weaver tells The ENQUIRER. “When your job is keeping them safe from their fans, their enemies AND each other, it’s a full-time job!”

Weaver, who stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 294 pounds, shares some of the most memorable episodes from his 20-year career in his new book, “Memoirs of a Celebrity Bodyguard.”

Now 53, Weaver’s first body­guard gig was for comedian Eddie Murphy.

On one occasion, Weaver says he saved Eddie from a brush with death by sneaking him out a side door when a crazed autograph-seeker pulled a gun. A bodyguard of Eddie’s friend, R&B singer Johnny Gill, was killed in the incident.

On another night, Weaver had to protect Eddie from “Rambo” star Sylvester Stallone, who thought the comedian was having an affair with his then-wife Brigitte Nielsen. When Sly grabbed Eddie from behind, Weaver says HE grabbed Sly around the neck – until he passed out!

Instead of being furious, Stal­lone hired Weaver for protection during the filming of the 1993 movie “Demolition Man.”

Weaver shares a hilarious story about the night Stallone invited his co-star Sandra Bullock up to his room, but instead of hook­ing up with her, the two stripped down to their underwear and had a “Rocky” moment!

Weaver says that when San­dra went up to Stallone’s room, Sly ducked into the bathroom and came out wear­ing boxer shorts.

“I’m a lady, but I got excited because he has a beautiful body,” Weaver says Sandra told him.

And according to the bodyguard, Sandra then went into the bathroom, came out in HER underwear – and that’s when things got weird!

Sandra reportedly told Weaver that Stallone started “jumping around like he was in a boxing ring.”

The actress shared: “I said, ‘OK, I can play around with him.’ As soon as he said, ‘Ding! Ding!’ he turned into Rocky, like in his movie.

“That’s the thing that bothered me the most because he was punching me in the arm! He grabbed me and we rolled on the carpet. I’m not go­ing to lie…it did turn me on. Until he said, ‘Ding! Ding!’ one more time, and right then, he screamed out, ‘Adrian!’ ”

Although fighting was oftenpart of the job, Weaver says one alterca­tion he was glad to have avoided was with Michael Jackson’s famous chimp, Bubbles!

While visiting Michael’s Never­land ranch with Eddie Murphy, Bubbles approached Weaver, growl­ing and baring his teeth. Suddenly, Weaver writes, the chimp slammed his hand on the bodyguard’s knee.Then, he did it again – but harder.

“Now I’m starting to panic…and I put my right hand into my coat to reach for a handgun,” Weaver said.

Fortunately, Michael intervened and took Bubbles out of the room as Eddie joked: “Could you imag­ine what would have happened if you had shot Bubbles?”

One client who made his work difficult was Wesley Snipes. Weaver recalls a time when he had to hold comic Arsenio Hall’s bodyguards at gunpoint while Wesley and Arsen­io fought over a woman! (Snipes won.) But the relationship later soured when Snipes took a swipe at Weaver and broke his tooth. Weaver says they then brawled in the street “like wild animals.” (Weaver won.)

Despite that drama, Weaver insists his worst client wasLindsay Lohan, whom he protected during most of 2007.

“When she was sober, she was charming,” Weaver writes. “But when she’d done drugs or had been drinking, she was a demon!”

She once told Weaver: “I can dress like a princess and still fight like a whore.”

And one night she almost got them both killed.

Weaver says she called him at 4 a.m. and asked him to take her to Beverly Hills to “pick up a script.”

But when they got to the location, Lindsay approached a man waiting in the front yard and screamed: “You ripped me off, you bastard!”

With no warning, Lindsay “slapped him so hard that I almost felt it.” She then slapped him again, Weaver writes, and “before I could stop him, he held a gun to Lindsay’s face.”

Weaver moved in to save hisclient, and found himself looking down the barrel of the gun. When a noise distracted the gunman, Weaver says he “punched that man as hard as I could in the side of his neck.”

The man went down, and Weaver sped away in the car with Lindsay.

“Celebrities come to believe they are immortal – that they can get away with anything,” he adds. “When I look back on my life in this strange town, I’m just surprised that I’m still alive.”

Weaver’s book can be purchased @