BACON THEORY OF RELATIVITY

description

Thanks to a pile of dog poop Kevin Bacon finds hope despite losing millions to swindler Bernie Madoff.

The Footloose thesp who lost millions in Madoff’s Ponzi scam (that’s "ripoff" spelled with a "p") has a new theory of philosophy.

"I decided to walk the dog and it was a sunny day," Bacon explained. "And I have these sunglasses and I can’t see a thing through them. They’re useless!"

"I’m walking through the park and I stepped in the biggest pile of dog crap you’d ever seen. It’s because I had the sunglasses on that I didn’t see it coming, and so I’m looking around and I have to find a stick now to get all the nooks and crannies out before I go back to my apartment," the Six-Degrees Separator revealed.

"So I’m rooting around in the bushes in Central Park… and I found a dollar, so that became my metaphor for life – if I wasn’t wearing blinders then I wouldn’t have stepped in the crap, but if I hadn’t stepped in the crap I wouldn’t have found that nice, shiny dollar bill."

Yup, sometimes you have to find yourselves deep in dung before you can see the light, Kev.