ORLANDO BLOOM, quietly reading a newspaper at a Santa Monica coffee shop, was approached by two 20-ish college cuties who begged him to pose for a celebrity calendar to raise buck$$ for a charity event. Orlando actually seemed interested until the coed cupcakes revealed the naked truth – they’d be photographing the “Pirates of the Caribbean” stud in the buff! Orlando blinked, then cracked up and declined, howling: “Are you girls kidding? My mum would have a fit"

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