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HOW TO PLAY...
Three of the gossip items in the Mike Walker Game are TRUE. See
how celebrity savvy you are by figuring out which item is definitely FALSE. |
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| As you might imagine, a lot of eye-opening stuff crosses my desk – but this shocking bulletin from one of my female reporters stopped me cold. It read: “Mike…hunky CHANNING TATUM has a lot more to worry about than his recovering burned penis…!” SAY WHAT! Turns out she was talking about a story I’d somehow missed – that during a movie shoot in the freezing Scottish Highlands, where he waded in a wetsuit through an ice-cold stream, a crew member charged with keeping the actors warm by pouring heated water down their suits screwed up and cooked Channing’s crotch in boiling H2O. “Mike, I’m stunned you didn’t hear that story,” said our Brenda Starr. “But how did you like my actual item?” Not as much as your opening line but it’s not bad – turns out Channing’s wife, actress JENNA DEWAN, watches that old tearjerker flick “The Notebook” over and over, and he’s freaked because “every time, she makes me promise that I’ll die with her in our bed – just like in ‘The Notebook.’ And then she cries…it’s insane!” (Beats boiling your weenie, right, Dude?) |
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| HOLDING ON! MARTIN SHORT, one of the celebs tapped to schlep the Olympic flame through their native country Canada, started worrying about being embarrassed if his arm weakened while holding the torch high during the run, even though it’s less than a mile. So Martin hired a trainer to strengthen his arms. But when the 5’ 7 1/2" funnyman showed up in gym shorts for the first session, the trainer eyed his spindly shanks and said, “We better do some work on those legs, too!” |
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| There’s no place like LA’s Runyon Canyon for wacky celebrity scenes – and here’s the latest: CAMERON DIAZ, looking like a hot GI Jane and bellowing like a drill instructor as she helped three galpals melt their holiday flab! “Walk faster, ladies...breathe, BREATHE!...Heads up!…Faster! More ENERGY!...Okay, now STOP!...Punch the air, girls! Harder…HARDER!!…Now, let’s twist from the waist…aaaannd JUMPING JACKS!...Yeahhh! WHOOO!” After nearly an hour of torture on the twisty trail, Diehard Diaz led her ladies in stretching exercises, then barked: “Be ready to go tomorrow – same place, same time. And DON’T be late!” The sweaty sweeties giggled when one feisty gal yelled: “I hate doing this, but I’ve lost four pounds already so I guess it’s worth putting up with our drill sergeant!” |
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| GUYS ARE SO DUMB DEPT.: Lovebirds CARRIE UNDERWOOD and hockey champ fiancé MIKE FISHER smiled and held hands as they swept into Ottawa’s Black Cat Bistro – and she couldn’t take her eyes off the big, beautifully wrapped box he was carrying. As they sat down (just a table away from My Spy), Mike handed it over, crooning: “It’s something special…hope you like it.” Tearing open the box like a kid on Christmas, Carrie’s kisser froze as she pulled out a pair of pink ice skates and sighed: “Oh, no…Does this mean skating lessons?” Irritated, Mike shoved the box under the table. MEMO TO MIKE: Dude, don’t be a HOCKEY PUCK! If you were an NFL star, would you give the girl a football? Tip: NEVER bring large gift boxes to a romantic dinner! Only small ones, like…jewelry-size? |
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