Flying united on a NY/LA flight, sweetie-pies NICK LACHEY and VANESSA MINNILLO snuggled cozily in first class - then sat bolt upright in horror as a flight attendant cheerily announced: "Today's inflight movie will be 'Employee of the Month'...starring JESSICA SIMPSON." Visibly freaked, Nick and Vanessa whispered furiously back and forth. (Imagine that conversation! "...will NOT spend two hours in hell watching your ex!...gimme that barf bag!... STOP THIS PLANE!...") Noting the sudden tension, attendants huddled in the plane's galley for an emergency meeting, then made a new announcement moments later: "Ladies and gentlemen, due to technical difficulties with our in-flight movie, we will instead be showing 'Bandidas' - starring PENELOPE CRUZ and SALMA HAYEK!"

• 'VAMPIRE' HUNK GETS PUNK'D
• MOM TO LOOSE-LIPS LILO: SHUT UP!
• SANDRA BULLOCK: OSCAR FIRST, BABY NEXT
• RIHANNA'S JOCK BEAU WARNS CHRIS BROWN RUN!
• HEIDI KILLS CRITIC -- WITH KINDNESS
• JESSICA SIMPSON GETS DOWN AND DIRTY
• "TWILIGHT" STUD THANKS CALVIN KLEIN FOR BULGING PACKAGE
• BRITNEY'S DAD BANS ALL LILO CONTACT
• PAULA ABDUL SPRINKLES KINDNESS

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