In the ladies' room at LAX, a teen female fan spotted PARIS HILTON checking her makeup in the mirror and squealed, "Oh my God, you're Paris Hilton. I just love you and I even bought your album." Sweet Sixteen then pulled out her cell phone and burbled, "Look, I even have your song 'Stars Are Blind' as my ring tone!" Paris, intent on getting her lipstick on straight, gave the groupie a blasé glance and said, "I don't really care." As the star exited, the pissed-off pixie yelped, "You really are a bitch! I'm taking your song off my phone and throwing your album away!" (You a slow learner, kid? Like...Paris doesn't CARE! Helloooo!)

• 'VAMPIRE' HUNK GETS PUNK'D
• MOM TO LOOSE-LIPS LILO: SHUT UP!
• SANDRA BULLOCK: OSCAR FIRST, BABY NEXT
• RIHANNA'S JOCK BEAU WARNS CHRIS BROWN RUN!
• HEIDI KILLS CRITIC -- WITH KINDNESS
• JESSICA SIMPSON GETS DOWN AND DIRTY
• "TWILIGHT" STUD THANKS CALVIN KLEIN FOR BULGING PACKAGE
• BRITNEY'S DAD BANS ALL LILO CONTACT
• PAULA ABDUL SPRINKLES KINDNESS

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