WACKO WINEHOUSE GOES BERSERK IN PUB
After a British judge awarded Grammy-winning ex-junkie AMY WINEHOUSE her first-ever criminal conviction (YAY!...High FIVE!) for drunkenly assaulting a theater manager, the train-wreck thrush belted off to a local boozerie, started belting ’em back, launched into a foul-mouthed rant – then suddenly ripped off her top, exposing awesomely augmented, brand-new double-D’s, and attacked a bigmouth barfly as screams of “Bloody Hell!” broke out at the delightfully quaint Ye Olde Swan pub, reports My Olde Spy! Amy’s post-sentencing booze-up began happily enough, said an eyewitness: “Amy was drinking like a fish as she loudly announced, to no one in particular, that she’d just been given an ‘effing’ two-year conditional discharge earlier that day.”
The aptly named Winehouse – notorious for screeching, slapping, scratching, punching and even knife-attack incidents that made UK headlines – started raving about how the judge told the court that alcohol had triggered her assault on a theater manager because the guy refused to serve her a sixth vodka after her drunken howling disrupted a play.
Smashing her fist on a pub table, Amy slurred: “If anyone can hold their liquor, it’s bloody well me!”
It got really nasty when Amy spotted a male patron eyeing her with obvious disgust. “What YOU looking at?” she shrieked. “You lookin’ at me t-ts?... Well, then, go ahead…HAVE A BETTER LOOK, MATE!”
Wobbling and weaving, the miniskirted, tattooed wild woman roughly yanked up her top – and out popped those mammoth, man-made mammaries!
Roared the unimpressed barfly: “You’re a SLAG!...You should go back to rehab!”
Amy, eyes rolling insanely, bounded at the guy like a spitting jungle cat, but was dragged off before she could inflict any real damage by two of her male lackeys, who hustled her outside before the pub owner could phone the bobbies (who’d have bloody well made her sheath those boobies)!