RYAN’S FANTASY REVEALED

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GAYSSIP DEPT: Weeks ago, I reported that RYAN “I’m Not Gay” SEACREST commented on his LA radio show that MICHAEL DOUGLAS looked hairy lately — and then added: “I’m not into bearded men.” In my opinion, I said, no straight guy talks that way — but I asked you to judge. Well, folks, don the black robes again and grab your gavel — Ryan just interviewed VINCE VAUGHN and gushed: “Dude, I’m totally into girls… but you’re at the top of my hump island when it comes to guys!” Hump WHAAT!? Vaughn, caught off guard by the beyond-metrosexual, sex-ish remark, said: “That’s like saying you don’t sweat as much for a fat girl.” Huh? (Just where is Hump Island, Ryan? Near Fantasy Island, no doubt! Seacrest… OUT???)