ROB PATTINSON'S HYGIENE TERROR

HOLD NOSE BEFORE READING: Notoriously stinky vampire ROBERT PATTINSON incurred the wrath of his “Twilight: New Moon” director, who was forced to re-shoot an expensive scene because his star’s uncut, filth-filled fingernails looked like he’d used them to claw his way out of a grave – plus he had FOOD stuck in his fangs!

...Eeeewwww!...

Furious producers, declaring a Grunge Emergency, read the riot act to Pattinson after dailies revealed the raggedy, dirtclogged nails and the yucky decaying morsel lodged in his teeth.

Now they’ve created a new job for a crew member who’ll be on full-time Dirt Alert to inspect Pattinson before every single scene.