R-PATTZ & K-STEW: Will ‘romance’ be re-buried after ‘Twilight’ bows?
VAMPIRE RE-SWOONION: BLOODY REAL...OR HOLLYWOOD SPIN? Here’s your answer to the burning question Gossip Fans keep asking – did studio big shots and “Twilight” execs (a) FORCE ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART to pretend kiss-and-make-up for the final premiere of the blockbuster film series, or (b) did the estranged lovers suddenly succumb to self-induced hot pants?
THE ANSWER IS... pant, pant...(a) AND (b)!!...WHAAAAT?
Folks, before you brain me with my keyboard, let me tell this touching tale: As you guessed, the wicked Hollywood honchos insisted on a reconciliation – preferably real, but “fake” was just fine.
Kristen, heart aching for the honey she’d cuckolded, wanted “real” – but agreed to settle for “fake.”
R-Pattz, hard-nosed as always, refused “real” and even balked at “fake.”
Then, just like in the movies, a funny thing happened. “Execs got them to meet at a pal’s LA home for a confab,” said My TwiWitness.
“And when they saw each other, all the old feelings welled up – and Rob’s walls came tumbling down.”
WALKER’S EXPERT ANALYSIS: “It’s not quite fake, for sure, and getting real-er by the second, so…stay tuned!”
(“Fangs, Mike!”...“Yer welcome.”)