Ordered To ‘Boy Up,’ Grumpy Ol’ Dave Groans He’s Just Too Pooped to Pop!

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WHY LETTERMAN FLEW COOP SCOOP!

DAVID LETTERMAN abruptly opted to quit his “Late Show” because panicked CBS execs, believing that new “Tonight Show” host JIMMY FALLON would kick Dave’s tired old ass in the ratings, warned him they were hiring hip, young writers to jazz up his tired old act – and then ordered him to twist the arms of his A-list celebrity friends to boycott Fallon and appear on “Late Show” exclusively!

Said an inside source: “That did it for Dave. While he admitted his show needed a fresh, contemporary look, he told network boss LES MOONVES that at age 67, he simply doesn’t have the energy to invest in revamping the show – plus he flatly refused to put heat on his famous friends.

That’s when Dave wearily told Les, ‘It’s time to throw in the towel – please start scouting for my replacement.’”