Nothing turns HOTTER, FASTER Than … A GINGER!

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So why did Bonnie Redhead PRINCE HARRY suddenly start boning up on ex-squeeze CRESSIDA BONAS, recycling her fine booty back from his royal dump-ster?

Answer: Big Badass Bro’PRINCE WILLIAM, trumpets My Royal Spy!

Wills told Li’l Sibling: “Learn from your mistakes, old boy! Why waste time on nonsense? You’re not serious about that CAMILLA THURLOW person – and quite plainly pining with love for Cressida. Remember, I did the same bloody thing with CATHERINE – let her go at first, then came to my senses before it was too late, and married her. Now look at us – we’re SO happy!”

Barking like a puppy, Harry watched Wills personally bring Cressida to him – as Duchess Kate grinned approvingly – and now he’s joyfully cresting the waves with Cressie! RULE, BRITTANIA!!