'NO-WHINNY' RIDE FOR NICOLLETTE

RIDE, WILD THING...RIDE! In a shocking misadventure that coulda been a “Desperate Housewives” episode (if she still worked on it), horse-crazy NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN galloped bareback near her San Fernando Valley estate in pouring rain – and suddenly got bucked off by her not-so-gallant steed, slamming head-first into the top rail of a fence!

Instantly knocked silly because she wasn’t wearing a riding helmet...neigh, NAY... and barely able to move as she lay in thick mud about 100 feet from her stable, the Desperate star moaned weakly, but there was no one to hear her.

Luckily, boyfriend/businessman/ convicted horse thief (WHOA – more on that later) STEVE PATE wandered down to the barn, spotting the riderless horse – then honed in on the moans and was shocked to discover Nicollette bleeding from a nasty head wound.

Picking her up, he ran to his car and rushed her to a hospital. After tests for possible internal injuries, docs stapled up the gash and sent Nicollette home, cautioning her to cool it – and avoid her horse, of course... of course.

NOTE: Nine years ago, a California court convicted boyfriend Steve of “receiving four stolen horses,” sentencing him to six days in jail and probation. The felony charge was later kicked down to a misdemeanor.

(Is this “Desperate Housewives” material or what, MARC CHERRY?!)