KATHY VS. PAULA: FIGHTS & FLIGHTS

MEMO TO KATHY GRIFFIN: Okay, I’ve taken a few cheap shots at ex-“American Idol” star PAULA ABDUL – ya know, “Judge Wack-a-Doodle,” etc. – but never the cruel, knife-twisting crap you spew, you flame-haired, witchy Crone-in-Training…stuff like, Paula’s a “junkie” with “a Vicodin problem.”

So…WHEE!...what fun when Paula suddenly whirled on you at the New York “VH1 Divas” concert and snarled: “Have you ever banged anyone?...HEY, listen up, Firecrotch!”

NOW… here’s secret diva dish I’m dying to tell you, Red: When Paula learned you were on the same return flight back to LA as she was, she immediately called organizers and demanded you be bumped to a later flight – because she refused to be on the same plane.

That’s why Paula took the 5:59 p.m. that whisked her into LAX at 9:13 – and YOU were switched to the 8:17 that didn’t get you there until three minutes before MIDNIGHT!