JEN MAKES NEW PAD “HETERO-CEPTIVE”

JEN MAKES NEW PAD “HETERO-CEPTIVE”
Photography by: Splash News Online

JUST CALL HER JEN FENG SHUI!

After buying that New York West Village penthouse love shack she’s sharing with loverboy JUSTIN THEROUX, JENNIFER ANISTON immediately sought out a Chinese feng shui expert, began “exorcising” bad vibes – using physical and spiritual cleansing rituals – and precisely rearranged furniture to make the new pad conducive to romance and fertility so she and New Man can conceive quickly! (Schwing and shui?)

Said an insider: “Before she even set foot in the place, clean-freak Jen had it sanitized, scrubbed and fumigated. Then she went into feng shui mode, making sure all her furniture was positioned just so, paying particular attention to her boudoir and the precise angle of her bed’s placement for fertility reasons.

"Jen’s meditating, chanting and tricking out her love shack with lots of scented candles. Justin’s not a believer, but he’s going along to keep the peace. Jen jokes that she’s having the place made ‘hetero-ceptive.’ The former owner, a famed hairdresser, is allegedly gay – and Jen’s not taking chances, wanting to neutralize any leftover lesbian energy that might disturb the vibe between her and her hunk!”

(Funniest feng shui no-no: Flushing toilets is bad for financial fortune, so toilet seats must be left down at all times – but just like a guy, Justin keeps leaving it up, despite Jen’s nagging!)