FAT'S INCREDIBLE! LIZ & MATT GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR MOVIE

Hey kids! It's HURLEY & BURLY!

Let's kick off our gossip extravaganza with the nightmarish tale of "Servicing Sarah" -- an unfinished flick starring Liz Hurley and Matt Perry -- which ground to a halt months ago when the "Friends" star went into drug rehab! Even though Matt's out now, scenes needed to finish the film won't match footage already shot because Matt got FAT! Frustrated producers saw a glimmer of hope when I reported he was looking at weight-loss programs -- but now Liz is pregnant and eating for two, so the project appears to be doomed! (Suggested new title: "FAT CHANCE!")