EXCUSE ME, SIR — I’M NOT YOUR WIFE

Standing in line at a Malibu market, David Duchovny reached back to give wife Tea Leoni’s butt an affectionate pat and heard a female voice say, “Excuse me, but I’m not your wife.” YEEeeOOW!! Horrified Hubby turned to face a stunning blonde girl who was a total stranger — and apologized profusely! Luckily, Tea — who’d stepped out of line to grab an item she’d forgotten — was highly amused when told about David’s ass-inine gaffe.