ELEPHANT TO R-PATTZ: HERE'S MUD IN YOUR EYE!

Perched astride an adorable 9,000-pound pachyderm named “Rosie,” girlie-throb ROBERT PATTINSON came thisclose to getting squished like a bug on the set of “Water for Elephants” when the befuddled beast got her signals crossed, tossed him off her back – and nearly rolled right over him!

In a scene where he climbs aboard Rosie to give her a soothing shower bath, the “Twilight” hunk, playing a young man who runs off to join a 1930s circus, converses with leading lady REESE WITHERSPOON, standing below.

Reports My Big Top Spy: “The script called for the elephant to step forward while swinging her trunk from side to side, but Rosie got her signals mixed up. Instead, she sat down on her big butt, lifted her front legs – then rolled over. Before anyone could react, Robert slid right down the elephant’s back. It could have been a disaster if she’d rolled over on him – but he got lucky, landing face first in a pile of dirt and mud. He was filthy, but unharmed. Everyone on the set cracked up – especially Reese, who was laughing so hard she couldn’t catch her breath.”

Crew members ran to Robert’s aid, but even he found the incident hilarious. “I’m just glad she didn’t roll on top of me,” he told everyone.

After raunchy Rob and Rosie were hosed down, he got a wardrobe change, and then it was… “Ladeez and Gentlemen, and children of ALL ages…Welcome to THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!”