DON'T TELL JOE SIMPSON

Don’t breathe a word to ASHLEE SIMPSON’s preacher/manager/ daddy JOE SIMPSON, but his baby girl’s rocker beau PETE WENTZ wentz NUTZ when he hustled into Hustler boutique in Tacoma, winked at the salesgirl and burbled: “I’m gonna surprise my girlfriend!” Pete enthusiastically snapped up sexy stuff like a naughty-schoolgirl micro-mini skirt in shimmering silver, a jet-black satin corset, a leather thong, a thong with “Hustler” printed butt-side, etc. – running up a whopping $1,000-plus tab. (Hey, ya can’t put a price tag on fun, right, Ashlee? Just pray Daddy don’t read this, and…ENJOY!)