NEVER TRUST A GUY WHO WEARS A DAMN PIGEON ON HIS HEAD DEPT.:
Acting like disgusting slobs at a Hollywood Whole Foods Market, JOHNNY “Tonto” DEPP and fiancée AMBER HEARD got their germ-y hands slapped when the manager caught them grubbing in granola bins with bare paws – then stuffing samples down their blowholes!
“Amber started it – she couldn’t resist when she saw those bins crammed with one yummy granola after another,” said an eyewitness.
“She reached in, grabbed handfuls to taste, then started feeding Johnny – who began finger-dipping as well!”
Suddenly, the manager approached and snapped: “It’s highly unsanitary to touch food with your bare hands. That’s why we put scoopers in there!”
Like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar, the red-faced pair apologized, filled plastic bags using the scoops, paid up – and split, pronto as Tonto, KEMO SABE!