BRADLEY COOPER SPANKS SKANK

With RENEE ZELLWEGER nowhere in sight, “Hangover” hunk BRADLEY COOPER sat belting ’em back at Vancouver hotspot Bar None with buddies when a scantily clad skank sidled up and flirted outrageously, panting: “You’re so much more handsome in person. And I’ll bet you’re well-hung…just look at the size of your feet!”

When Bradley refused to respond, the dissed ditz snarled: “You’re DRUNK, aren’t you? Is that why you’re ignoring me?”

Drilling her with a withering stare, the star declaimed theatrically: “In the words of WINSTON CHURCHILL, ‘Yes, Madam, I am drunk…but in the morning I will be sober – and you will still be ugly!’”

As Brad’s bar-mates burst into applause, Mortified Minx stormed off spouting obscenities, and His Lordship ordered a round all around.