In “Dark Knight Rises,” CHRISTIAN BALE’s a daring and resourceful caped crusader battling crime in Gotham City, but in real life…this wimp can’t even fend off an overzealous grandma!

Our story opens as Our Hero, walking down a Manhattan street, is accosted by an older lady who corners him and asks for his autograph.

Bale briskly jots his John Hancock and moves on, but the woman yelps: “WAIT! I need you to sign ‘Batman’ under your name!”

Sighing, Bale politely explains that he’s played many roles, Batman’s just one of them – and off he walks.

But Granny persists, trailing him down the street, barking: “Sign it, you putz! My grandson’s only nine, and he’s never even seen you as anyone else.”

Not wanting to create a scene, Bale sighed, surrendered, signed “Batman” for the batty dame – and split!