GUESS WHICH BITCHY TV ATTACK DOG IS A SECRET LESBIAN?

NationalEnquirer.com

TV femme force pit bull likes the ladies – AND HOW! WHICH high-profile TV personality – people in Hollywood call her an “attack dog,” and most say THAT’S a compliment – has been hiding a lesbian secret? The twice-divorced loudmouth says she has been burned by men in the past, but has always preferred women!

WHAT A-list, never-married movie star was spotted lunching with his attorney as they went over specifics of a prenup? The 30-something hunk has a penchant for dating leggy lingerie models, but he thinks his latest love interest is Mrs. Right! Let’s hope she signs on the dotted line!

WHICH married aging male heartthrob – he’s known for his charitable works and environmental activism – is now worried that a tell-all book about his secret extramarital affair will soon be published? The squeaky-clean, still-handsome 70-something star had written the woman off as a nonissue long ago, but it turns out she’s the one who’s been writing!

WHICH formerr “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” alum has relapsed, gained a ton of weight back and is now in serious condition at a Los Angeles-area hospital? Hitting rock bottom for the umpteenth time hasn’t changed the grumpy, bloated D-lister’s sour attitude – the hospital staff threatened to transfer him if he didn’t stop harassing the nurses!

WHICH former TV bombshell and “DWTS” hoofer is boozing and partying so much that she’s decided to get a quickie nip/tuck to smooth out her puffy face and deep wrinkles before she’s in front of the cameras again? The actress is concerned about her appearance in this HD age when she should be more concerned about her performance skills!