WITCH DOCTORS DECLARE WAR ON BOKO HARAM!

Published on: July 28, 2014
Photography by: WikiCommons
WITCH DOCTORS DECLARE WAR ON BOKO HARAM!

Infamous Islamist insurgents Boko Haram – who made international news for kidnapping over 200 schoolgirls in April – may be facing their most dangerous foe yet: Nigeria’s witch doctors!

According to a report in Nigeria’s Sunday Sun newspaper, the Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN) recently held an emergency meeting in the town of Afuze, in western Nigeria, to address the Boko Haram problem.

“Witches and Wizards in Nigeria are deeply worried by what is going on in the country especially Boko Haram insurgency.  As stakeholders in the Nigerian project, we can no longer afford to fold our hands while the nation burns.  Enough is enough”, said WITZAN spokesman Dr. Okhue Iboi.

While the Nigerian witches and wizards hold their meetings according to a fixed schedule, Dr. Iboi explained how the Boko Haram insurgency forced their hand this year.

“Our bi-annual meeting was actually supposed to come up in first week of October, but our fellow brothers and sisters from these three north eastern states made a passionate appeal to our general assembly imploring us to discuss the Boko Haram matter.  Witches and wizards in Adamawa. Borno and Yobe states want us to intervene, to help cage [Boko Haram leader Abubakar] Shekau and his blood-thirsty lieutenants”

“We witches and wizards in Nigeria have sealed the fate of Shekau,” he added “His days are numbered.  He will be captured before the end of December, and contrary to the image and impression he has been creating that he is a warrior, after his capture, he will start singing like a canary bird.”

“An ordinary eye can’t see what we are seeing in the coven world.  Witches and wizards have put Shekau on our radar.  There is no peace for him again until the day of his arrest,” he said.

Dr. Iboi also predicted good news for the kidnapped schoolgirls. “Those girls are coming back home.  They will be rescued, but it is sad that I have to say here that not all of them are coming back. They are not being held in the same place, some are in Niger, and some are in Cameroon while others are in Chad and Nigeria”.

But while the witches and wizards of Nigeria present a united front against the Boko Haram militants, they’re not free of controversy themselves.

“Those are bad witches, in our own association,” admitted Dr. Iboi “We are white witches, and white wizards. We are here to save people. We don’t kill, we counter bad witches and neutralize them whenever they are on their evil mission.”