MISERY MICHAEL

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By TIM MILES

Aging Hollywood actor Michael Douglas stumbled into a bar half asleep as his live-wire wife Catherine Zeta-Jones partied up a storm — and dragged her off to bed!

The 60-year-old Wall Street star appeared so tired that he crashed into two bar stools before finally grabbing Catherine by the arm and forcing her to call it a night.

The attention-grabbing scene occurred at a shindig in Wales, where revelers were celebrating the end of a Ryder Cup-style celebrity golf match in which both Michael and Catherine, 35, competed.

Michael’s team, which included Cheryl Ladd, Rob Lowe and Cheech Marin, lost by a narrow 91-89 to Catherine’s squad, captained by golf ace Colin Montgomerie.

Following the competition, the players moved to the Melvin Bar of the Celtic Manor resort — home to the real 2010 Ryder Cup — and sources say that’s where things heated up.

Said an eyewitness: “As they walked into the bar, Michael already looked tired and was in no mood to sign autographs for fans. He looked a bit shattered from the game.

“But Catherine was really up for a good time. She was among hard-drinking British celebrities who were determined to celebrate their win — and celebrate big time. “She started knocking back Bollinger champagne at $180 a bottle and red wine. There was a grand piano in the bar and the crowd got into a karaoke session. Catherine belted out the old Sinatra favorite “New York, New York” followed by “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, cheered on by her teammates and friends. “By 10:30pm, Michael, who’d been quiet during the evening and in no mood to celebrate, decided he’d had enough and went to bed.

“But Catherine was on her home ground and wanted to put on a show like the Welsh can do. She danced on stage with ex-British footballer Ian Wright. She also went into a mad dance routine with model Jodie Kidd. It looked like the party would go on all night. Catherine was really getting it on — and attracting a lot of attention from the men.” To read the rest of this article, pick up this week’s issue of The National Enquirer.