MADONNA GIVES HER DEMANDS TO REPORTERS

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Her Madgesty gave the royal decree to all journalists at the Live Earth concert in London saying that they must make eye contact, and keep it, during all interviews. Madonna minions told interviewers, “Eye contact must be maintained at all times…Never look down to check notes — all questions must be memorized or the interviews will be terminated.” The press was also provided with a list of questions they were not allowed to ask, such as questions about her marriage with Guy Ritchie, her recent adoption, and Kabbalah.

At first the demands sounded a little out there. One source claims, “We thought her people were joking… But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious.” Who knew that Madonna interviews would one day be able to double for a brain building exercise, or a staring contest?