LAUGHTRACK

Published on: December 30, 2004

* Young Buck, the rapper accused of stabbing someone at the Vibe Awards, was officially charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The bad news is he could go to jail. The good news is that he's now more likely to win a Vibe Award!

* Charlie Sheen's wife Denise Richards is pregnant with their second child. And you know Charlie, he wants to have another girl. But how could he leave his pregnant wife? Charlie seems to have truly turned his life around and Denise seems to really keep him in check. Which is new for Charlie because his past lovers would keep him until he wrote a check. I'm just kidding, of course . . . they only took cash.

* Lindsay Lohan says she was never asked to pose nude for Playboy. Sounds like at the last minute Playboy decided not to do their "Self- Destructive Babes" issue.

* Here's some big news: John Goodman has gained so much weight that his friends are scared he's eating himself to death. And what's even scarier is if he did eat himself, he'd still be hungry! He's already over 350 pounds. Just to give you an idea of how big 350 pounds is, that's like 700 Olsen twins.

* Courtney Love plans to write a book about her life. Actually, there already is a very long and comprehensive book about Courtney's life -- it's called her "rap sheet." Courtney promises the book will reveal all of her and Kurt Cobain's "dirty little secrets." But we know they were on drugs, had trouble with the law and lived a wild and crazy life. So what could Courtney reveal in this book that would shock us? That she's really good at math?

* Brittany Murphy lives in the house that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake built. And she says she is keeping everything they left behind. She's even keeping the piano they had, which was purposely out of tune so that Spears would think she was hitting the right notes.

* Robert Blake's trial has finally begun! Did you know Robert and his late wife Bonny had a prenuptial agreement? It stated that should the marriage end, Bonny would get exactly one bullet. But can you believe it's been three and a half years since Bonny's murder? You know Blake never misses her -- he got her on the first shot.

* Ellen DeGeneres' ex-lover, Alexandra Hedison, is planning a "galimony" lawsuit that's sure to be a very public battle. The insults should start flying back and forth any day now. We probably haven't seen two girls fight like this since Elton John and Madonna.

-- JAMES HARRIS