ET: STILL SEEING IMAGINARY TWINS!
Despite repeated official denials by Brangelina's reps, Entertainment Tonight is still seeing something that isn't there -- the birth of Angelina's Twins!
ET's alleged "source" for the phony report has been exposed as a scam artist impersonating Angelina's assistant Holly Goline. And yet the fluffy entertainment show refuses to admit it was wrong -- more than a week later!
"No one has seen Angelina in the last two weeks," Mary Hart told a newspaper just the other day.
(NOTE TO MARY: Angelina is at home resting. How do we know? Because The ENQUIRER sent a reporter to France and talked to several people who have seen her!)
More from Mary: "We're trying to get to the bottom of it. We don't want to be inaccurate."
(ANOTHER NOTE TO MARY: You are a TV show that most of the time merely repeats what celebrities and their official representatives tell you. Of course you're inaccurate! Now we've gotten to the bottom of it!)
EVEN MORE FROM MARY: “I hope that the babies were born when we said they were and that we had our facts straight."
(AND YET ANOTHER NOTE TO MARY: Keep hope alive.)
Mary's final statement: “I have never retracted a story in 26 years, but all I can do now is wait and see.”
(FINAL NOTE TO MARY: Never retracted a story in 26 years? Wow, that's better than The New York Times! Oh, wait, you didn't say you never got a story wrong...)