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ELLEN DeGENERES and her wife PORTIA de ROSSI at each other’s throats over pal MELISA ETHERIDGE’s ugly custody battle with her gay ex!

The talk-show host has sided with her longtime friend Melissa, sources say, while Portia sympathizes with the rocker’s ex, actress Tammy Lynn Michaels, who’s asked a judge to bump up her support payments.

“Ellen thinks Tammy is crazy and unrealistic for asking for more money,” a close source told The ENQUIRER. “Meanwhile, Portia thinks Melissa is being stingy with the mother of her kids. Portia feels that she can relate to Tammy because she gave up her acting career for Melissa, and Portia pretty much did the same thing for Ellen.”

The couple’s bickering esca­lated when Portia, 39, accused Ellen, 54, of not having any compassion for Tammy, said the source.

“Ellen fired back that there are plenty of divorced moms who get by on a lot less than Tammy does,” said the source. “The bottom line is that Ellen is sticking by Melissa, and Portia is rooting for Tammy. The two rarely fight, but this has completely divided them.”

Emmy winner Ellen and Melissa, 50, are longtime friends. The singer/ songwriter appeared on the ground­breaking coming-out episode of her pal’s sitcom “Ellen” in 1997, and Ellen was a guest when Melissa exchanged vows with Tammy, star of the TV series “The L Word” and “Popular,” in 2003.

Tammy gave birth to the couple’s twins – son Miller Steven and daughter Johnnie Rose – via an anonymous sperm donor in 2006. Melissa filed legal papers to end their partnership in 2010.

Tammy, 37, recently asked a judge to boost her monthly child and spousal support check, claiming the $23,000 she currently receives is insufficient.

“[I] gave up the job that was $25,000 a week, not $23,000 a month – I gave up $100,000 a month,” Tammy told a reporter. “[Melissa] wouldn’t take off from her music stuff to allow me to do TV or movies. She implored me to be home.”

Melissa, a breast cancer survivor, blasted back in legal papers, charg­ing that Tammy burned their son with a cigarette. Tammy has stated it was an accident.

Their ongoing legal battle caused even more tension between Ellen and Portia, said the source.

For now, Ellen has called a truce, said the source, adding: “Ellen and Portia agreed to disagree and move on. They also made a pact – no more talk about their friends’ private lives if it affects their own relationship.

“Of course, Ellen turned it into a joke, and declared their home a Melissa-and Tammy-free zone!”